hi!!! welcome to my blog! i write to you as i write to myself. some things are realities from lessons learned, some things i am speaking into existence, and some are written from the trenches themselves some days it feels like if i don’t get my thoughts out of my head and onto paper, my brain might explode i created heldbyavery, my instagram account, in early 2025 it marked the beginning of a huge transition. it was when i began to crawl out of the skin i was living in and s

how can someone feel like such a foreigner and so at home in their body at the same time i can almost see her feel her someone my truest self my younger self someone every time i just about have a grip on her she evaporates into the ibis and i am left locked out here with just my human body now i find myself waiting for her again plotting planning how i can lure her in how i can keep her it feels like i have already given up so much of who i was already i have made all of the

"it is said the life you want begins the moment you stop asking the future to save you and start meeting the present as if it already contains everything you need. the change begins when you realize the moment you’re in isn’t missing anything. you are where you need to be." being lost has been quite the theme of my trip metaphorically, because i have really just been winging my every move.but also literally and physically one night in italy, while i was staying at the farm, i