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from lisbon, with love

i am sitting down to write about my adventures to lisbon this weekend it’s monday late morning now and my body is sore from walking the endless hills that make up the streets of lisbon ive spent all morning laying around and reading dismissing any guilt that arose from this all of thus said walking, is far more than i have been used saturday was like 24,000 + steps which may have been something quite simple in the past, but is new since feeling better lets just say i haven't

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a welcome letter♡

hi!!! welcome to my blog! i write to you as i write to myself. some things are realities from lessons learned, some things i am speaking into existence, and some are written from the trenches themselves some days it feels like if i don’t get my thoughts out of my head and onto paper, my brain might explode i created heldbyavery, my instagram account, in early 2025 it marked the beginning of a huge transition. it was when i began to crawl out of the skin i was living in and s

Jan 254 min read

from lisbon, with love

i am sitting down to write about my adventures to lisbon this weekend it’s monday late morning now and my body is sore from walking the endless hills that make up the streets of lisbon ive spent all morning laying around and reading dismissing any guilt that arose from this all of thus said walking, is far more than i have been used saturday was like 24,000 + steps which may have been something quite simple in the past, but is new since feeling better lets just say i haven't

6 days ago7 min read

the effect tragedies have on me

{i wrote this very shortly after watching wuthering heights while the emotions were still raw. i withdrew from posting because i felt like i had some thoughts to complete about this first. i was trying to understand my own perception of the desire of wanting to feel, even if that feeling is painful. i am revisiting this writing and it still rings true.} i watched wuthering heights twice when it came out i left the theatre a complete disaster both times, as many of us did i re

Mar 184 min read

the grass actually is greener

i look at myself in the same mirror i did here in portugal a year ago and it feels like i am in a completely different body than i was then this makes my skin itch my natural instinct is to think: how do i fix this? what do i do? i guess this voice still lives somewhere within me i write this blog with you knowing that this topic may be just as sensitive to you as it is to me but nothing. i do nothing. i let the urge come and then i let it go. i stand here, i let it be uncomf

Mar 166 min read

coming back to the world

it’s 7:30am as i am writing this. i woke up around 4:30 and couldn’t fall back asleep. since then i have eaten breakfast, watched my show, read my book, had coffee, and laid down with my eyes closed to at least get a bit more rest. then i had the urge to write one day when i was, again, laying in the grass i was wondering, frustratingly, how i can feel this content and at peace yet still be so self critical sometimes what do i have to do? because it isn’t a specific body type

Mar 105 min read

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